Creative design and branding agency Mother knows a thing or two about the powers of a matriarchal system. Its New York City office proudly displays a wall of framed portraits of the mother’s of its 150 employees, and like mom, they make me feel right at home when I visit (their office kitchen also offers beer on tap, which is an upgrade from my childhood home). So if you’re wondering if they know how to do Mother’s Day right—do you even have to ask?

This year they’re not messing around with flowers and chocolates or crocheted potholders (what, we’ve all been there). Instead, they went straight to the source and asked all 150 moms what they really, truly want this Mother’s Day. No, the answer is not an I.O.U. for breakfast in bed. It’s just to be heard, which is as sweet as it is sad. Moms, we haven’t ignored your loving advice all these years, we’ve just been, um, saving it for later.

To celebrate mom, Mother has taken those pearls of wisdom and plastered them around NYC. The advice is as varied as the women in our lives. Some moms are funny (“I didn’t go nine months without Chardonnay for you to hate your job.”), some mean well (“You should get together with Helen’s son Jacob. He’s in New York, too.”), and some are just mean (“Be the kind of the person your dating profile promises.”), but as long they’re our moms they’ll have things to teach us, and we can probably suck it up and listen, at least for one day, right?

Shout out to Mama Drumm, who told me nothing good ever happens after midnight (wrong, mom!), to always ask for more money (way to lean in, mom!), and that becoming a vegetarian in high school would stunt my growth, which is why I have such big feet for my height (thanks for using this fun fact when introducing me to strangers, mom!).